I try not to class myself as a hoarder, but when it comes to clothes I am, and always have been, under the impression that I will 'grow into it' or more aptly, 'I will slim down into that' - hard truth to admit but it's being getting worse over the years. It's a safety net to have those clothes hanging there: all pretty, beautiful, clean, fresh, never worn... the virgin's of my wardrobe. It doesn't have to be new clothes, oh no, over half of the 'IWSD' (I Will Slim Down) clothes no longer fit me but once did. I'm not even sure why I do it, it started as something to look forward to, something maybe to keep me focused. But do you know how long I've had those clothes in the wardrobe for? Over two years. yeah, I know. What started as a form of focus, is now a form of torture, a reason to look down on myself every darn day, knowing that despite the clothes looking all shiny and new, I cant wear them because I am too big for them. The same thing happens everyday... I open the wardrobe, pick them up, realise, then put them back and self judge all day long. No more.
With every moment I opened the wardrobe the clothes would grin at me, they knew, I knew. I was cheating myself, there was no way on earth I was going to fit in them or get back into them - I wasn't going to wake up one day suddenly able to slink myself into them - that just doesn't happen (why God, why). I was tired of this - sick of feeling down on me and my perfectly able body - there is nothing wrong with me, I work as a human, it was the 'IWSD' clothes that didn't work. So meet my friend the box. yep, that brown box is my future. In there is every item of clothing that no longer fits me, or never has done, some have tags on them, some worn only once, but either way they are going in.
Taping the box up and placing it in the loft is a bit like an end of an era for me, and today, my first day in two years have I opened my wardrobe and seen the choices of clothes I do have that do still fit my 2 stone heavier frame. Granted I don't like the frame I'm in, but the box has given me some serious clarity. This box of tricks wont be coming back down until I can comfortably fit into them. It's exciting, I know that I get a whole new choice of clothes, dream clothes, when I get my ass into gear and get my beloved body back, the way I was. For me, it isn't bout measurements, scales, figures or people's opinions about how I look, it's how I feel deep inside of myself, and I know where I'm happiest. I feel a new sense of calm and happiness about me... all from a box, simples.
Has anyone of you got clarity through doing something so small?
3 comments:
I LOVE the feeling of a good declutter - for me its not the IWSD pressure, but the guilt of all the money (read debt) those clothes cost me.
Great post, I have built up such a collection of clothing too that alot of has never been worn. I guess I am lucky I have always stayed around the same size but for me its more like, Oh this will come back into fashion at some stage or I can't bear to part with it as it has sentimental value..! Sometimes its really good to take the time to sit down and evaluate things, you always feel better after you start taking steps forward!
I'm a little different in that once I've had a good de-clutter it almost all goes to charity. This way I can't be tempted to let it sneak back into my wardrobe and take up a hanger. I suppose I'm lucky in the sense that I work in a business where nearly every day something new and shiny is delivered that I can wear so getting rid of 'old' trends doesn't bother me too greatly.
That said classics that never go out of style do get 'stored' for a better day.
Training for the Great North Run has seen my thighs seriously muscle up and already some trousers be a little on the tight side. I'm hoping after the run to reduce the training...and hopefully my Madonna legs...to a 'healthier for my body' level.
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